The Misadventures of Zelda 64: Swamp 2!
by Morter
Summary: Because FF.net won't bring updated fics to the TOP, I'll upload this chapter, go to my bio to find the chap. before this one. R&R!!


Misadventures Of Zelda 64!!  
SWAMP 2!  
  
Starring  
  
Morter (Me, I'm narrating, bizzatch!!): Yo what they want, yo I think they want  
Tails: Mo' Mo' Mo'!!  
Jim Raynor: Yeah zoom zoom zoom...DAMN! _  
Zeratul: Itsa me, Zeratul! ^_^   
  
  
Disclaimer: I, Morter Gunstar, hereby claim Zelda, Nintendo, and Prozacc, as my own! Never owned "Bizzatch" I've always owned Starcraft!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Is shot in the head)  
Akira: Good work men...now lets go to...(looks at his Hitlist) Bill Gates  
^_^  
  
Authors note: Notice that I say "We walk into..." but in the dialogue I say "Morter" 'Tis a habit it is...  
  
  
Check it, Me, Tails, Jimmy (Zoom zoom...), and Zeratul were walking to the swamp. Me and Tails were singing Offsprings "All I want", Jimmy playing his Gameboy advanced, and Zeratul taking Prozac like a 5 yr old eating Pokémon Candy.  
Me: Day after day  
Tails: Your homelifes a wreck  
Me: The powers that be  
Me & Tails: JUST BREATHE DOWN YOUR NE-HECK!  
Jim: QUIET! I'm trying to get past World 2-3!!  
Zeratul: *Gulp* Mmm. Hey! I know how to beat that, bu-uuuudy! (wiggles his hands)  
Me: Damn Animaniacs, DAMN THEM TO HELL!!! _  
Zeratul: Don't say "damn", thats such a strong word. Try darn.  
Tails: Oh my god...ZERATUL'S TURNED HIPPIE! O.O  
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!  
Morter: DAMN IT! Where is that coming from?!  
Jim: EAT EGGS, BIRDO!  
Morter: Fried r' scrambled?  
Tails: SUNNY SIDE UP!!  
Zeratul: Let us continue on our quest! TO ARMS, MY SOLDIERS!!  
All but Zeratul: O.o;;  
Jim's GBA: Mama Mia!!  
Jim: (looks down at his GBA, then goes on his knees and yells up at the sky) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
Tails: (grabs Jim by the armor and starts to drag him)  
Morter: EVERYBODY! WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ! BECAUSE BECAUSE--  
All except Morter: Morter, WATCH OUT FOR THAT--  
Morter: BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAAAAAAAUUU--(SMACK!!)  
All except Morter: Ladder....  
Morter: Ow...pain...concussion...blurry vision...hurt...cucumber...(loses consciousness) @_@  
Tails: Hmm...I know what'll get him up... (walks back to where tingle was executed, and takes a piece of cloth, and walks back to the gang and puts the cloth over Morters nose)  
Morter: (Gets up immediately, AK-47 in hand) DIIIIIE!!! (shoots at the cloth mercilessly)  
Zeratul: Good work, Holmes!  
Tails: Don't call me Holmes. It's homey HO-MEY!  
Morter: (Grumbles) Ho is right...  
Tails: Oh I'll get you for that...  
Jim: Lez go, I'm pissed.  
So we all crawl up the ladder and walk up to Big Bubba.  
Zeratul: I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU!! YOU VILE OBESE SON OF A--(takes some Prozac) Nice little lady! ^_^  
Jim: (walks up to Bubba) 'Ey listen. We need a boat.  
Bubba: Sorry, we cannot supply--  
Jim: (Pulls out his C-14 Impaler) Gimme the damn boat...  
Bubba: Yooou got it! ^_^;;  
We get to the boat and look at all the scenery.  
Tails: And two the left we have a pink frog! To the right of us we have the some weird flowers never seen by human eyes. And right below us is the purple poisoned water which will surely bring us to our doom without any insurance! ^_^  
Zeratul, Jim, and Morter: Ooooh!! Ahhhhh!! Ohhhh!! Cheddaaaar!!  
(When we reach the great Deku Palace, we crawl in, to see MORE purple poison water, and living plants.  
Morter: Must...destroy...  
Jim: How come?  
Morter: Last time I saw a deku, it gave me it's flower!!  
All look at Morter: O.o;;;;;;;;;  
Morter:...IT'S MODE OF TRANSPORTATION  
All 'cept Morter: Oooooh!  
Tails: LOOKIT THE CUTE PLANTS! ^____^  
Zeratul: Now TAILS, have YOU been takin my Prozac?  
Jim: I pity da foo dat take Zeratuls Prozac!  
Morter: Lets go to THE KING!  
We walk to the little Deku Scrubs, who are as stubborn as a drunk mule.  
Morter: Come on, we gotta see The Deku King  
Deku 1: Purpose?  
Tails: To finish this damn fanfic.  
Deku 1: Not a chance..  
Zeratul: Come on! PLEASE? I'll letcha have muh Chocolate  
Deku 2: WE'RE ALLERGIC TO CHOCOLATE, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!  
Tails: (puts away her Ak-47) Umm...no... ^_^  
Jim: DUUUDE! WE GOTTA SEE THE KING! _  
Deku 1: No way, Jose!  
Jim: It's Jimmy, not Jose...  
Deku 2: (Gasps) IT'S THE ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM GUY! ^_^ Sure we'll letcha in! (They both burrow)  
Morter: HAHA!  
Jim: Quiet!! _  
So we walk into the Main Castle room thingy, to see a Monkey tied to a pole.  
Monkey in Cage: HELP ME! HELP ME!! _  
Tails: Whoa! What happened? Have trouble playing Tetherball?  
(Rimshot is heard in the background)  
MiC: Funny...NOW GET ME OUT!!  
Zeratul: Ok, I gots an idea! Jim'll distract 'em, and I'll throw my blade @ the ropes and you can run!!  
Morter: Good job! ok..and...GO!  
Jim: HEY KING DUDE! LOOK! IT'S PAUL BUNYON!  
Deku King: GAH! RUUUUN!! (hides behind his throne) GUARDS! GET EM!  
Me, Tails, and Jim go into this Trio, Charlies Angels Pose.  
Tails: GO GET 'EM, GIRLS!  
Deku's stop in their tracks, staring at me. Tails and Jim look at me to realize that I'm holding....A LIGHTER!  
Deku: OoooH! Mystical Liiiight. O.O  
Jim: Dude...ya got a fire right there (points to the center)  
Deku Guards: Huh? (looks to the fire, and we push em in)  
Morter: LETS ROLL!  
Me, Zeratul, Jim, and Tails run, hop, skip, jump, fly, swim (ouch), and teleport to the Woodfalls Temple, or somethin like that.  
Morter: (looks at the Temple) Lets get ready to rock...  
Charlies Angels action music sequence plays as the pic fades out.  
  
SWAMP 3: WOODFALL COMIN SOON! 


End file.
